Death in it's Grave

So, I haven't updated in a couple weeks, my apologies. It's been super busy ever since we got back from Seattle because we now leave for Thailand in just 16 days! Wow. That is insane.
A couple weeks ago we talked about Spiritual Warfare. Most of us were super worried that all it was going to be was about demons and things like that. To our surprise, it wasn't that at all. Basically, the speaker Tom told us that we give way too much credit to the enemy, and that we need to stop doing so. It was such a powerful week, and I feel like it opened a lot of our eyes to the power we actually have. We also talked a lot on forgiveness, and what it truly means to forgive. "Forgiveness is saying, this person does not owe me anything. The thing that they took from me, whether that be emotionally or a physical possession, they are no longer responsible to pay that back. To release them from that, and move on."

Last week, we had another week on evangelism, or what we thought was going to be evangelism, but ended up being a lot of people being set free from past things. It was super awesome. The speakers name was John Goodfellow, and his son is actually on base.
The first day, he focused mainly on the ladies. He had us all get into a line, and he went down the line and put oil on our heads, and prayed over us. Some of us ended up on the floor and were out for a while. I was one of those people.As I went down, I was crying hysterically, and then after a little while I could not stop laughing and then I was out and all I could hear from God was just truths that He was speaking over each individual part of my body. It started at my feet. I felt as if someone was physically holding my feet saying, "These feet will be used to go to places to touch lives." And then it moved up to my knees. I had just gotten hurt again the night before during basketball, and I was wearing my brace. I heard God ask, "Do you trust me?" And I responded, of course I do. And he asked again, "Do you REALLY trust me?" And I responded, YES of course I do. And He healed my knee! It was awesome. It then moved up to my stomach, and all I could hear was God saying, you're perfect, and I love you. No need to look like anyone but yourself. Then it was to my head. I heard God speaking so clear to me at this point saying, "I am renewing your mind, and I will be your strength." I woke up at that point and just laid there with so much joy. I tried sitting up and then fell right back down. I was like, "Okay God, I will just rest here." And that is what I did.
The next day, we were told to write down on a piece of paper of names of people that we have carried with us that have hurt us, or even situations that have damaged us, and we were going to throw it in the fire. John also said that some people may need to throw physical things in the fire, such as clothing, or other things. It was my turn to go up and I basically said I had a list of people who have in some way hurt me in my life, and I've held onto that hurt for too long, and also a few other things. And I threw into the fire a piece of clothing that shouldn't and does no longer have any control in my life. (It was a bikini, and I don't have a problem with them, I just have a problem with how I felt when I wore it. So I decided to give up my right to it, and let God have it. And it was so FREEING.) So then, the next day, we got prayed over again, but by our staff, and I ended up on the floor again. I just got pictures of some things, and it was awesome. One of the staff, Cassie, once I got up, she looks at me and says, "I love how you're always on the floor..." It was great. So basically, I got free from A LOT that week, and have been overwhelmed with joy and peace that I can not even explain to you.
So then, this past week we talked about the Holy Spirit. And wow, what a life changer, again. The speakers name was Nick Gough, and it was so awesome. He went around our classroom and gave prophetic words to us all. The words that I keep getting are radical, soul winner, a sword in my hand, teacher, and leader. In some sort of way, every time, these words come up. So then Tuesday night we had a time of just being able to prophesy over people. I went up to probably 5 different people and told them what God had told me, and every single time I did so, the person I went up to started crying. I'm like, YES Jesus! You are awesome. Seriously. All glory to Him. He speaks, and when we listen, we can build each other up. I titled this, death in it's grave because I feel like in my life, I have officially laid DEATH in it's grave. No longer am I slave to what has happened to me, but I can use that as a testimony of Gods grace and provision in my life. PRAISE HIM. :)
To end this, I basically just want to say, I am learning SO much while being here, and God's been changing and shaping me so much.
We leave in 15 days for Thailand, and I couldn't be more excited to go share the word of God with people there. We will be working with a variety of different people and we are expecting big things there. Our team is awesome, and we are READY.
If you could keep all 4 of our teams in your prayers. There is still some financial needs in our school for people to be able to go on outreach, and we know God will provide. Thank you!!! :)

Sleepless in Seattle

Wow. How true that is... Sleepless in Seattle. If one thing is for certain, we were all running on very little sleep this last week. This week we were given the great opportunity to go minister to the people of Seattle. And of course, I was super excited because that is so close to home!
So we all hopped into 6 vans, 12 or 15 passenger, and went on a road trip. On the drive over, I was getting nervous, but still super excited to see what God was going to do.
As usual, we had lectures in the mornings, and then lunch. Lectures were about evangelism, and it was so awesome because we got to put it into application right away. It was awesome. Everyday, we also had the choice of what ministry we wanted to go to that day. There was options such as, Jubilee Reach (which is a thrift shop in the area), Union Gospel Mission Men's Center downtown Seattle, where we would serve them a meal, or there was also a demo team who did some work at this one place and also a cleaning crew, yard work crew, etc. The first day, we were also given the choice to stay at the church and help them out where they needed. That is what I chose to do the first day, and it was awesome. We got to fold a BUNCH of tablecloths, and just help the church we were staying at and bless them. To just see the look on the ladies face once we were done was so worth the time and energy we spent doing what we did. Of course, we had fun doing it. Including, shooting a few baskets while laying on the floor.
Monday night, we were sent out to Capitol Hill and were to just go talk to people. I was in a group with my friend Kristen and this guy Javier. We said a quick hello to a few people, but nothing big. So we went back to the church, and I just felt so worthless, like I had done nothing that night, and I was so angry at myself. How is it that I have the faith I have, but can't share it with people? We had debriefing, and it seemed like a lot of people found it hard, but they at least talked to people. I went to bed, and was just still so mad. So the next day, Tuesday, we were given the option of going out evangelizing, ALL DAY. Of course, I jumped on this, and said, PICK ME! I wanted to reach out, and to get the opportunity to do it all day, of course I want to do that. So on the ride over we were talking to the school leaders, Jeff & Kristy, and it made me feel 100% better for what happened Monday night. Kristy told us that she felt as if she just barely got into it when we had to leave, and that she didn't really get to talk to people either. *sigh of relief* I'm not the only one! So, we got into groups, and I was with Natasha and Kristen. We started our day at Starbucks, and then from there we were going to decide where to go. We didn't really feel anything specific yet, so we began walking down to the park area. The first ladies to talk to US were 2 ladies from China who were having a petition for the organ trafficking in China. It was so powerful to talk to them, and listen to what they had to say because we just went through the experiencing injustice, and to see it in real life was so touching. We asked if we could pray for them, and at first I noticed the lady kinda jump back, but then they both let us pray over them. We prayed, and I know they didn't understand a whole lot of what we were saying, but it was good. So we kept walking and a man asked if we could watch his magic trick. So we said, sure, and watched. After his trick was over we talked to him a little bit and found out he was from Vietnam, and that he moved to Seattle about a year and a half ago and was trying to get money for his son and himself. We asked if we could pray for him, and he didn't understand, so we had to explain what prayer was to him, and it was really good. So then we kept walking around Downtown Seattle and we found a homeless lady and we went over and started talking to her. Her name was Rae-Rae, and Natasha ended up giving her dinner to her. (We had packed dinners that morning because we weren't going to be home all day). Then we found out that she was not doing well health wise, and we prayed over her for healing. Just to see her face and talk to her was so powerful and she was so thankful. During our conversation with this woman, a man came over and asked us if we had more dinners to give away, and so I gave him mine. Then we continued on after that, and we came across another homeless lady and Kristen gave her her dinner. It was just such a good feeling to be able to bless them and give them the basic needs, like food and water.
Later that night, we got picked up around 6:30pm and went with the school leaders to Pioneer Square. From there, Kristen, Natasha, Jeff and myself got out of the van and started walking around. We ended up talking to this guy Darrell for around 45 minutes. He said that he is a believer and all he wants to do is help people. That he had just lost his job, son and wife and was now on the streets. He had a joint in his hand, and was pretty out of it. Part of the conversation he made us go really deep with him and tell him our stories of why we believe what we believe. This was so challenging for me. It was digging down to the root and telling people why I believe in God, and what he has done in my life. Darrell ended up sharing with us that he was in a dark place and that he almost committed suicide. So when it came time to tell my story, I really felt like I connected with him because of my past. I just told him how I was in a dark place, and how God got me out of it, and now I am where I am because of it. It was so awesome. Jeff got his number, and we ended up praying over him, and he prayed for us.
On Wednesday I was able to help at this place called Urban Impact, and we helped set up for Halloween. It was really relaxing and just what I needed that day because of all we did on Tuesday. That night, I went with a group back down to Pikes Place, and around downtown Seattle. Right as we got there and started walking around, there was a stabbing across the street from where we were. I was with a staff guy Payton, and Natasha and we had no idea that that had happened until later. We then ended up walking back to Pioneer Square because I really wanted to find Darrell again, and he said that he is always in the same spot. So we went over there, and he wasn't there. So we decided to wait and pray to see where God wanted us to go. Natasha and I both got that we were supposed to go back down by the water by Pikes Place and so we did. We ended up sitting on a couple logs and interceding for Seattle. It was overall a pretty good night.
Thursday we had our last lecture in the morning, and then we had small groups. It had been a pretty emotional week so far, with very little sleep, and so basically it was just spilling our emotions. Which ended up being awesome. :)
Friday we had a free day and I ended up going shopping with Kristen, Natasha and my mom the first part of it, and then had dinner with my family the second half and went to Best Buy to get my mom and dad new phones. It was good to see them again for a little while. Also, I got to see Taryn's parents and talk with them for a little bit as well.
Saturday was a long day of driving back to base, and now we are here. :) It was such a good, long, and emotional week. God is working in Seattle and He definitely broke my heart for those people. I was definitely, sleepless in Seattle, in more ways than one.

The sunset downtown on Tuesday during ministry time.

playing in the leaves after ministry time before dinner on Monday :)

Death, Burial, and Ressurection

Another week has passed. Every week seems to be going by faster and faster. I can't even keep up! This week we had Ron & Judy Smith come and teach us on the Biblical Foundations. As you may know, I grew up in a Christian home, so I didn't expect to learn much through this week, but boy was I wrong, as I usually am when I say that. They taught on so many subjects, but one that has completely stood out to me was the one on reading your bible more.
I always say, oh yeah I need to read my bible more, but I never got such passion for it until they talked about it this week. They had 2 ladies from the SBS (School of Biblical Studies) staff come in and talk to us about their experiences on this subject, and they inspired me so much to dig into the word. In our DTS we are going through the whole New Testament, but now one of the other girls who is going to Thailand with me, Natasha, and I have started reading the bible out loud to each other. We started in Luke, and we both take turns reading. So I read through the whole thing, now it's her turn to read it to me, and we are going to do this with all the books of the bible, beginning with the New Testament.  Ron & Judy also talked a lot on sin. One thing that really stood out to me was how it is not by our sin that we are kept out of heaven, but by our unbelief that Jesus took on our sins in His death and not believing in Him. This blew my mind this week. Even though that is something so simple, God has been giving me so many revelations through it, and it's AWESOME. I can't wait to be able to dig into Gods word on my own, and also next year doing SBS for 9 months. God is really starting to show me His plan, and I am so excited for it. He is SO GOOD.
This week we also had angel-mortal week, where we drew names of somebody and we were to give them gifts/letters/something encouraging throughout the week, and we had $5 total to spend all week. It was awesome because I love giving gifts and being encouraging so it was super fun! Also, my angel knew me pretty well... gave me a card with a cat joke, a disposable camera to take pictures.. I mean, come on. She is amazing! :) We got to find out who our angels were on Thursday night, and it was super fun. Mine was one of the girls, her name is Rebecca and she is from Michigan.
This week we get to go to Seattle for mini outreach, and I am super excited. :) Go back to my home state of Washington! God is going to amazing things there, and I can't wait to minister to people on the street. If you could keep us all in your prayers for this week, that would be awesome!
That is all I have this week. God is doing amazing things here, and I can't believe we leave for OUTREACH in just under 2 months! So crazy. :) Thailand, HERE I COME.

Experiencing Injustice

So, I wasn't going to do a blog this week, but Friday night we experienced something so emotional, but good. 

It was the first time that they have ever done it here. It was called "Experiencing Injustice" and what it is was us going around to 5 different interactive stations where they showed us some of the injustices of the world. It was so powerful and intense, something I will never forget. 

We got into different groups, and went out. The first station that I came to was about Sex Trafficking. We came up to a storage unit and our group leader knocked on the door. The door flings open and its 2 women, both part of our staff, and this man. It was insane to see and realize that things like that ARE real. It made me so angry.

The second station we went to was about Child Soldiers. We went into the prayer room and this guy was in there and he said that we can't worship loud, but we should sing amazing grace. So part of my heart knew something was going to happen, and I was already shaking, and found myself thinking twice about singing. Which is CRAZY to me because knowing it was not real, but still being afraid to sing made me really think about if I was actually put in that situation. So we started singing and a truck pulls up and these guys start knocking on the door and window and the one guy in the room leading this whole thing told us to get out and just RUN and don't stop. So we get out and the guys out there yelled us to get in the back of this truck and started screaming at us telling us that we no longer have a family, and that they are our mother and father now so we mid as well just forget about everyone else. At this point, everyone is just crying their eyes out, myself included. We were taken up in this truck up a little ways and told to get out and run to the side. I ended up tripping on a rock and falling on my knee. I got up and then we ran and had to get on our knees as they pointed guns at us and were screaming things. They put masks on our faces, and then took one of our guys in the group and were going to have him shoot the gun (with blanks... not real). It was SO powerful, one of the most powerful ones. All that was going through my mind was if this was real, and I did fall, I would have been shot and killed right then and there. 

The third station we went to was about Unclean Drinking Water. We went up to this table and one of the ladies was talking about this girl who went and got us water, and it's rude to not accept it and drink it so we had to drink it, and if we couldn't, one of our friends had to finish it for us, but we could NOT dump it out by any means. So I take one sip, and about puke. It was so gross. I just started crying. I can't believe it. It breaks my heart so bad.

The fourth station we went to was about Organ Trafficking. We went into the kitchen and there was a girl on the table and covered in fake blood. Then there was this other guy dressed in a surgeon outfit and asked us if we wanted to buy an organ and told us all these facts about it and stuff like that.  (I can't remember every detail, I was kinda a mess). So then we all refused to buy, obviously. And this other guy that was in the skit bought it, and the guy said, "someone always buys it, they always do." And we walked out. It was so powerful and crazy!!!

The fifth station we went to was about Child Labor. We went to what was a cocoa factory, and there was 2 girls in there working and being completely abused. One of the girls wasn't going "fast enough" and the one in charge of them dragged her away while the other throws herself at the window screaming for us to help her. It was so emotional, and my heart was so in there and I just wanted to run and grab her, even though I knew it was an act.

So then after we finished all the stations, we went back into our lecture hall and had 45 minutes or so to process what we just went through and worship. It was so intense. I ended up re-injuring my knee and scraping it up a bit, but I really do not care. It is such a reminder to me that these things are real, and it was so powerful. My heart has changed so much, and I don't think I can ever just go back to "normal" life. I want to do something. God has placed a few dreams/visions on my heart, and I want to do these. I will share more on them when I can. But, I thought I would update you all on what happened to us. It was emotional, but so good at the same time. It changed a lot of our hearts, and I do not believe we will be the same. At the same time, I know I can not change the whole world, but right now, where I am at, I can pray for these injustices, and make a difference that way. So my challenge is for you all to do the same. PRAY for these people. They are REAL people dealing with this stuff, and it is NOT OKAY. 

Dancing with Jesus

It's SATURDAY. Part of me wants to say, finally. And then the other part of me says, wow, it's already another Saturday. Time seems to be flying by here. I am absolutely loving it out here. It has definitely been a challenging time in my life, that is for sure. God has been working in a lot of areas in my life, and it's crazy. Every week we have different speakers on different topics, and this week was Relationships. Not only boy/girl relationships, but everything. We talked about being co-dependent on relationships. This kinda hit close to me because I have found myself more running to people for help than to God. I have been challenged a lot by God to step out of this and completely run to Him, and it has not been easy.

I have wrestled more with God this week than I have in my life. Every week we have to do journals and process through lectures, our quiet time, and basically everything that happened that week. I wrote more in my journal this week than I have, but I really think God is going to do amazing things with that. 

Last night (Friday), we had a worship night down in our lecture hall. It was the BEST worship I have ever felt. God really broke some chains off of me, and it was amazing. Ever since I got here, I have had my whole concept of knowing Gods love taken from me, and I know it was God. He wanted me to rework through some stuff, and see His love in a whole new way than I did before, and let me tell you, it's amazing. I was just on the floor reading the bible and God just spoke so clearly to me in these 3 pictures. I can't really share them right now, but it's awesome. So after that I got up and just started singing and for the last while during worship I have just pictured myself dancing with Jesus. As I got up, I felt the urge to just dance, but one of the really good dance ladies was in there, and I felt uncomfortable in dancing because I really have never taken any lessons or anything. So I did little hand gestures, and just as I started doing this, Taryn comes over to me and says that God had been telling her to tell me to dance for a while, and she almost wasn't going to tell me because she didn't think it was right. That made me almost want to cry. After she prayed over me, I just felt this presence just take over my body and I had no control of it. I just started dancing, and I would say it was DEFINITELY with Jesus. Guys, HE IS SO GOOD.

I definitely felt his love for me in that moment, and I couldn't even handle it. Also, this week I hurt my knee while I was sleeping somehow. A lot of us here in our DTS have been super attacked with leg injuries, so I know this was a complete attack. It was okay, but did have a lot of pain. So I wore my brace for a couple days, and then ended up tripping and falling on it on Wednesday night, and it just made it worse. On Friday this girl Hannah prayed over it, and after worship that night, it was COMPLETELY healed. The Spirit is moving so hard here, and it's amazing! I can't say it enough, but GOD IS SO GOOD. :) 

I also got to prepare and teach my VERY first teaching to the kids at the local elementary school this week. They have an after school program called CLUB 3:16 and through the Childrens Ministry track, I got the option to teach, and I took it! I had 2 days to prepare, and I was so nervous, but God worked in that, and it was awesome! I taught on Abraham, and the topic was on "How to Allow God to Change You" which is funny because that has been a struggle for me lately. But it did go really really well. All the praise to Him! :)

I am not sure if any of this makes sense, or if it was just a bunch of little things on my mind spilled out, but I hope you enjoyed it... I will update again on next Saturday. Just know, God is moving, and I am feeling more and more of Him every day! 

Walking Barefoot

First off, sorry I haven't updated in a while! It is crazy busy over here with everything, and this is the first time I could sit down and just write.

Second. IT IS AWESOME HERE. Day by day, I grow more in love with this place, and these people. I feel like I have known them my whole life, and that I can just trust and rely on them so much for encouragement and pointing me to Jesus! It's amazing the community God placed here at this time and season for each of us. I am in a small group with 4 other girls, and our leader Katie! These ladies are so amazing, and we have grown so much closer together, even though it's only been 2 weeks! We also have these journals that we are required to  do every week and turn in Monday morning and it has been such a good thing for me. It gives me time to sit down and reflect on what God has taught me during the week. 

This week we had the privilege of hearing from Mike Phillips on Hearing Gods Voice. I went into the week not really expecting to get much out of it because I felt like I was "pretty good" at hearing God. It's amazing what you can learn when you open your heart to hear what God will say. A lot of what Mike talked about was things I didn't even realize about myself and how those things sometimes prohibit me from hearing God well. Not only that, but he definitely brought up things that showed me why I act certain ways in certain situations, not even necessarily in a bad or sinful way, but just overall. He talked a lot on the Holy Spirit and how we all have the Holy Spirit inside of us, and it hit me pretty hard to hear some of the stuff he said, but in a really good way. God is changing me inside and out, and I really can not wait to tell you guys more! For now, I feel like this is all God wants me to say, but just know that being here has and is shaping me, and it is so good. Thank you so much for all your support!!!

So, as many of you are probably aware, my best friends are here with me too, and many of you also know the injury Taryn got 2 weeks ago, the day before we were supposed to move into our dorm. If you don't, you can head over to her blog and read the story, but I can just say that it was honestly one of scariest (not THE scariest) things I have had to deal with. She is SO strong though, and God has been healing her so much! So last night (Friday night) one of our friends Hannah got this sense that she was supposed to pray healing over Taryn and her foot (which many people have done). So a group of us sat in one of the rooms and Hannah prayed over her foot. Right as she prayed, we started seeing swelling going down, not dramatically but little by little. And so we continued to pray and worship, and I got the passage of James 5:13-18. Which is all about healing, and confessing your sins to each other. So we talk for a little bit, and just worship God for who He is, and what He has done for us. And then felt like we needed to obviously include God in this whole thing, so we sat there and just asked God, what do you want us to do?  God has been really showing me that He loves to speak to me through visions and dreams, and so he gave me a vision of a sort of blanket or towel over Taryns foot, so I was like okay Lord, so I tell everyone and we find this gray towel to put over her foot, but it didn't seem right, it seemed too big and not the right color and such, sounds dumb, but I felt like we needed it to be exact to my vision. So one of our friends Rut said she had a smaller towel, and I asked her what color it was, and she said white. At this point I freak out, and lay on the bed just PRAISING Jesus because the towel I had in my mind was white. WHOA. So, we end up searching for it for a few minutes and find it under Taryn. One of the other girls, Maddie, had a vision of it being a hot towel, so we got the towel wet and hot, and placed it over Taryns foot. So we sit back down and ask God, what do you want us to do now? The word oil popped into my head. So I say, alright Lord, I will tell them. So I say, "Well, I think we need oil for something." Maddies eyes LIGHT up and she's like, that's crazy because I found this oil in my bed the other day that I have no idea where it came from. So we grab the oil and then ask God, okay God what do you want us to do now? Rut speaks up and says, well in that passage you just read, the oldest used the oil. Also Maddie said that she had a vision of someone rubbing Taryns foot. So we decide that I was the oldest in the room and it was my job to rub Taryns foot with oil. As many of you know, I hate feet and have such a hard time with that, but I was like, alright God, it's all up to you to use this, and I know you will. So I rub her foot with oil, and we place the hot rag on top of her foot. By this time, it's 11, which is quiet hours, so we can't sing anymore, but we can still pray. So we turn on worship music on a laptop, and just sit in prayer in the dark over Taryns foot. After a half hour of doing this, we were like, okay God, what next? We all got the sense that we were just supposed to wait. I end up getting a time of 12, and then Maddie speaks up and says that the verse she just read in the bible was talking about morning time, and healing. So technically 12 is morning, so we sit in silence, and just worship and pray to God for healing. As it reached 11:59, Taryn had spoken up saying that she wanted to play one of the first worship songs she sang at Bellingham CTK, and so we do. I was like, we really don't have time for this... it's almost 12. I heard God speak very clearly to me, "What's 5 more minutes? Wait until 12:05." Okay God, but this song is shorter than that. What do you know... Right at 12:05 the song ends. So we ask God again, who is to take the rag off? The youngest. Which is Rut, who just turned 18 this week. Some say its revenge for her saying it was supposed to me rubbing the feet... but oh well. ;) Haha. So, Rut takes off the towel, and you can SEE that Taryns swelling has gone down SO much from before we started praying, and when she woke up this morning most of the bruising was gone. We are just PRAISING Jesus for his HEALING power! It is SO amazing and ALL the GLORY TO HIM! AH. HE is SO GOOD. Also, as we were coming down the mountain when Taryn initially got hurt, I got the time of 2 hours. So I immediately thought, oh 2 hours and she will be completely healed. Of course we all know that didn't happen. I just sort of forgot about the whole 2 hour thing, and moved on. UNTIL, last night, I realized we had prayed over Taryn for healing for 2 HOURS, and it happened. It is not 100% better that we know of, but God is definitely moving in her foot, and healing her. And to add the whole "2" thing, it had been exactly 2 weeks from when the injury occurred. AH, JESUS!!! What the heck. So good. Also, right before we even did this, we had gone out evangelizing in Kalispell, about 30 minutes from where we are, and it was awesome too, but when we were on our way back in the van, Taryn had a canker sore in her mouth, and our friend Maddie put her hand on Taryns lip, prayed, and it was COMPLETELY gone. So that was the first step in this whole healing thing, and it was AWESOME. God is so good!!! 

Basically, we all really didn't have much experience in healing, or any of it, but I really have been learning through things that God sometimes calls us to go barefoot, and go into the unknown and just see what He will do. Some of the things I said, I felt so stupid, but God uses even what we think is stupid, and not relevant. He will call us out of our comfort zone to see what we will do, and if we trust Him. He called and convicted me to touch Taryns foot, which was BEYOND what I ever thought I would do. 

Everyone in the room that night has a different story of how God spoke to them, and little prophecies and visions they were given, and I could write PAGES upon PAGES of what happened, but God did WORK in that room, in hearts, and physically. It is amazing what God can do with an open heart, and open mind. I LOVE IT! He is SO GOOD you guys. 

I will keep you updated what is happening with Taryns foot, but everyone that was there that day, seeing her foot, knew it was broken on the mountain, and God has been healing it so rapidly, beyond our expectations. So basically, what I encourage you guys to do, is not limit God. I know this is just an update on things going on here, but God can do things like this where you are at too, not just on a YWAM base. Press into Him! I love and miss you guys, and will update next Saturday. <3 nbsp="" p="">

Head first: no turning back.

Okay, so I haven't updated in a while, but that was not my intention. I actually stayed up the other night, wrote a blog, post it, only to find out it did not post and did not save. Only thing I can think of is that God didn't want that blog.. So here I am again. 

It's the start of day 4. I'm skipping breakfast cause I am not feeling well. My time here has been so amazing. I love getting to know new people, making new friends and of course, spending time with Jesus. Even though I have not even been here a week, God has moved in my heart and I have realized that I can not hold back any longer. 

Some of you may know that I have struggled with my relationship with my dad for a while now. Maybe it was my way of growing up, but something happened and what used to be "daddy's little girl", no longer wanted to be that title. I don't know what happened or why, I just know it happened. My heart started getting hard and I still don't understand why. On day 2, we came together and had a time of worship, teaching, and more worship. I felt so strongly convicted earlier that day, during one of our teachings, about my relationship with my dad. I shared with a couple ladies about it, and essentially moved on. I wasn't going to step out and try to fix it right then and there, I couldn't find the strength. So that night when we came together, my heart just broke. One of our staff, Cassie, talked about her family. And right when she said the first word, I felt an aching in my heart. 

I can't describe what the ache was, but it felt a little like emptiness, and a little girl inside me longing to reconnect with her dad. We continued to worship and just lay down whatever was on our hearts to God. Tears were many as we all tried to communicate how we felt. After a while, worship ends, and we start having a "cereal party" where we all just hung out, eating cereal. Us ywamers are pretty awesome. But again, during that time I still felt the emptiness inside of me. A little girl screaming to get out. A couple of my friends here told me that they were going to the prayer room to continue to worship, and if went with. I knew I had to call my dad, but part of me was scared to. Scared of what? I don't know. 

So we start walking toward the prayer room and I said outloud, "well I have a phone call to make, but it can wait til morning." Man, did God have other plans. We start to worship, and I feel this peace about calling my dad. A peace that I couldn't understand. I end up leaving the room and going outside and making the phone call. Tears flowing from both ends of the phone, I can say that it was the best decision to make. 

God has been wrecking me in other ways as well. Before coming here, I knew the love that God has for me, or at least I thought that I did. I knew I was loved by a King. But for some reason, God has stripped this knowledge from me, and has told me, I am making you new, and to do so, I had to take away what knowledge you thought you had and renew it. Okay God, have your way. I don't know what else I could have said than those words. He's never failed me in the past, why would he now? So I'm taking it with arms wide open to see what He will do. Break my heart, and renew it, fix it. 

So that's what's been going on these past couple days. I've realized that no matter how many times I had talked to people who have done YWAM, and asked them what it was going to be like, you will really never know until you get here, and experience it yourself. Everyone's story is different, and I'm learning that every day in new ways. 

We are pretty busy here, but I will update mainly on Saturdays because those are the days we have free. 

Here is Mackenzie and Maddie. Maddies from Texas. She's so funny and awesome! I love that girl. 

And here is Alex, Taryn, Mackenzie and I, the first day we were here.